I needed something different.
It started as a time issue. I no longer had time to write. My full-time editing business was keeping me on my toes, and taking care of my clients quickly became more important than writing my next blog post.
Then it turned into a creativity issue. Even as I sat down to a blank page and blinking cursor, I felt overwhelmed. There is so much information already available. What could I possibly write that is different, that’s inspiring, (to be completely honest..) that’s worth my effort.
Finally, it turned into a fear issue. I brainstormed and scribbled, writing prompts on pages and pages in my notebook. Yet every time I had the opportunity to write I distracted myself. I quickly made an excuse for why “now” was not the best time to write.
I created a conversation in my head that simply did not exist. A conversation where no one wants to read these posts. That I’m not enough of an “expert” to write about these topics, and to have these conversations.
The fear of writing was sinking in, and it was quickly turning into a fear of creativity all together. I had never been here before. This was unfamiliar territory and I felt like a stranger in it. It was scary and unsustainable.
In the past, I always just wrote. I wrote because I had an objective.
Create a service, attract an audience, help future clients, build my business.
And it worked. In fact, it worked so well that I no longer needed to write. In order for my business to grow and to last, blogging was no longer a requirement. So I stopped.
And with writing, went my creativity, my fire, my courage, my daring attitude to take the road less traveled.
Fear. Fear was starting to win this battle.
I was afraid of writing, I was afraid of being creative, I was afraid of getting started again. Mostly because I knew, that I wasn’t happy with where I left off. This time around, I wanted my creativity and my writing to look different.
I wanted less checklists, and more inspiration.
I wanted less filler words, and more authenticity.
I was craving something different. I knew that I personally needed a refresh, a change of pace. I wanted my readers, my friends, my followers to have something more to hold onto. Something that would actually be beneficial and worth their time and investment.
“Sometimes in life we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to enjoy the journey.”
- Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Finally one morning, I sat down and decided to just write. After six months without blogging, I knew it was time.
What had originally caused me to feel discouraged with my lack of ability to put pen to paper so they say (or fingers to the keyboard), was now allowing me to write un-restrained.
The hiatus re-ignited me. I no longer had a finish line, I simply had a blank page.
So often we test the limits of our abilities, our time, and our finances just to reach that end goal. And what exactly is the end goal? Something we defined for ourselves, that let’s be honest, we may never even achieve?
I could finally acknowledge that I actually became overwhelmed once I reached my goal. I reached my goal of booking a full-time photo editing client list. And looking back, I didn’t even realize how much I enjoyed the creative space of writing, photographing, and marketing to get there.
What if we always did things with a little more joy? What if we always wrote with a little more pep in our step. I can tell you, it’s a wonderful space to occupy in this always moving forward creative industry.
How would it feel to let go of something that causes you stress and overwhelm, even if it once brought you happiness? Maybe you just need to take a step back and approach it from a different angle. Maybe you’re just craving something different.